you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
