And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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