There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.