Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.