explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
