Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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