idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
