Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
