just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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