I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize