So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
