I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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