Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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