their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
