I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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