her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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