His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
