You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
vagina is talking i cant
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
