quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
