What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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