remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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