i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
