and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
