I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
