who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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