I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
