I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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