She's like a pop up book from hell.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
