Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
