I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
