playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
