How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
