her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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