Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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