Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize