Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
