i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
