Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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