I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳