Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune

(1-318): View more from Louisiana

what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??

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(318): dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune (1-318): what drug did you take to come to that conclusion?? http://tfl.nu/bym5

Replies (80) Good night (4279) Bad night (708)
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(443): View more from Maryland

so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

(914): View more from New York

so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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(443): so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse (914): so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though http://tfl.nu/1ux5

Replies (11) Good night (4278) Bad night (579)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?

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(808): Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes? http://tfl.nu/1azu

Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (2572)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck

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(413): Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck http://tfl.nu/rnye

Replies (5) Good night (1313) Bad night (3532)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water

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(508): He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water http://tfl.nu/2dzm

Replies (11) Good night (2420) Bad night (3197)
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(407): View more from Florida

Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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(407): Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants? http://tfl.nu/pjw5

Replies (18) Good night (3588) Bad night (1077)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo

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(703): The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo http://tfl.nu/6q1j

Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (2379)
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(540): View more from Virginia

is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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(540): is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious? http://tfl.nu/lq7k

Replies (7) Good night (5213) Bad night (1061)
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(530): View more from California

My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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(530): My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/pzgc

Replies (13) Good night (3905) Bad night (1229)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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(201): Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys. http://tfl.nu/w09r

Replies (8) Good night (2004) Bad night (766)
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(556): View more from

Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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(556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07

Replies (10) Good night (2079) Bad night (708)
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(716): View more from New York

Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?

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(716): Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog? http://tfl.nu/399r

Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (370)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.

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(701): You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool. http://tfl.nu/2eh0

Replies (7) Good night (464) Bad night (1612)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.

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(734): I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland. http://tfl.nu/euk2

Replies (3) Good night (386) Bad night (216)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.

(870): View more from Arkansas

Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?

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(870): too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush. (870): Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman? http://tfl.nu/9w4v

Replies (2) Good night (441) Bad night (159)

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