I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.