High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself