Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.