Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN