Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

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  (540): ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret. http://tfl.nu/thv3
  Replies (18) Good night (2704) Bad night (971)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

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  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (24113) Bad night (1111)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.

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  (918): I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/mqw4
  Replies (12) Good night (3884) Bad night (799)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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  (819): its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger http://tfl.nu/0bs6
  Replies (10) Good night (3933) Bad night (925)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5576) Bad night (962)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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  (401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu
  Replies (11) Good night (986) Bad night (4100)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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  (409): Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing. http://tfl.nu/yp46
  Replies (22) Good night (1870) Bad night (5277)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.

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  (270): Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first. http://tfl.nu/qnn2
  Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (5693)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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  (845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv
  Replies (9) Good night (5780) Bad night (1229)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz

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  (870): God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz http://tfl.nu/dral
  Replies (4) Good night (2352) Bad night (1210)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3494) Bad night (753)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  foreskin is a definite game changer

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  (905): foreskin is a definite game changer http://tfl.nu/oi5r
  Replies (24) Good night (1162) Bad night (1048)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Come through the front door when you get here.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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  (516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (413)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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  (701): Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich. http://tfl.nu/pg0v
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (312)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.

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  (339): Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird. http://tfl.nu/knwb
  Replies (0) Good night (457) Bad night (270)

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