Texts From Last Night

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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3361) Bad night (774)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either

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  (903): And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either http://tfl.nu/k8z3
  Replies (22) Good night (630) Bad night (3880)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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  (512): You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that? http://tfl.nu/amhf
  Replies (16) Good night (3794) Bad night (1045)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

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  (440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know. http://tfl.nu/71w6
  Replies (25) Good night (11453) Bad night (834)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1099) Bad night (3723)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.

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  (770): separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles. http://tfl.nu/p09d
  Replies (36) Good night (6353) Bad night (849)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame

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  (410): i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame http://tfl.nu/8cpc
  Replies (12) Good night (3518) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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  (941): its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though. http://tfl.nu/5tqm
  Replies (10) Good night (5263) Bad night (1068)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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  (260): Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/8iit
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (1910)
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  (909): View more from California

  It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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  (909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i
  Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (1830)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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  (832): He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass. http://tfl.nu/my94
  Replies (14) Good night (633) Bad night (1111)
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  (805): View more from California

  getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine

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  (805): getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine http://tfl.nu/rtlz
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (258)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  It just smells like spaghetti and despair.

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  (810): It just smells like spaghetti and despair. http://tfl.nu/q26z
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for

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  (262): It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for http://tfl.nu/8tbr
  Replies (6) Good night (289) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face

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  (857): You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face http://tfl.nu/kc4r
  Replies (0) Good night (302) Bad night (67)

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