Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize