i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
