i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
no, he came in my armpit
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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