herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My life is pants optional.
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