If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize