I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
