If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We left the knife in your bed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
