it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
