I need help removing her.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
