Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
