You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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