i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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