just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
