I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
