so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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