my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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