Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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