I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My vagina is very pro this idea
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
