YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
