**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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