hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
