Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
