I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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